The day I found heaven is the day I lost it
Blog By Christina D’souza (Head Girl) IBDP 1
All I saw was white light blinding me and sucking out my insides, while I twisted and turned begging it to spare me for once. I shut my eyes closed and met my old friend, darkness. I peeked through my barely open eyes to see Lauren. She looked as beautiful as the day I met her, brown hair tied up in a messy bun while loose strands of hair brushed her soft pale skin which were now barely wrinkled. Her blue eyes still shone reminding me of the deep blue sea. Crinkles formed near her eyes as she gave me a tearful smile. Everything stopped around me, the sound of machines, people rushing into the room, the beating of my heart, while my eyes were still steady on her. How could I forget the day I made those tears fall? The day I asked her to marry me, that was the last day I saw those pearls of love and care. After that all I saw were the tears of regret, pain and agony which over an interval of time were every day.
Beside me stood a little girl with green mesmerizing eye with a hint of blue and brown curls looking at me with confusion and curiosity. She looked so much like Lauren, holding a teddy bear with a tag named ‘Mr. Bubbles’. I hear her asking her mum, “When will he leave with us mummy?” with a cracked, sad tone to which her mum just smiled mouthing a ‘soon’. How will I forget the day I took her tiny body in my large arms? Her hand wrapped around my finger while she sucked on her thumb. Her eyes scanned the room even though it lacked the strength to see. Her mouth parted open to yawn while showing her gums without any teeth. That was the first time I picked up my baby, Darcy. I always sensed that she would always be daddy’s little princess. But I also remember the day she gave up on her own daddy, her own superhero. That was the day when she just wanted to spend some time with her daddy but instead saw an employ finishing his paperwork.
“Come here”, I tell her with a soft voice while I open my arms to embrace her instead they were restricted due to the pipes connected to my body with the help of a syringe. That is when I realised, I lost everything. My heart sank while I saw Lauren shed a tear warming her cheeks and the beeping of the machine slowing down. That’s when I realised I had long lost while cancer celebrated another victory.